"Your source for somewhat true and completely wonderful local news."
POLITICS
Today, in an alternate universe, Wupan launched an attack on Winaught while two of the leaders were away on a diplomatic mission in a territory of Pickeringvania. Pickeringvania, the largest and most powerful (though very sparsely populated) country, intervened before either side suffered any major damages. Earlier this week, Lairvem of Ni attempted to conquer a third of Winaught through a naval battle, now called the Battle of Caboose.
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Mountain Du: Will Wupan and Dupan finalize their alliance under the name of Mountain Du? The world waits.
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EDUCATION
Mystery of the missing substitute teacher! One vice principal claims that she was there. Students and another vice principal insist otherwise. Conspiracy theories abound. What really happened?
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Middle school band and orchestra concerts were so touching and beautiful that even babies were crying by the end.
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Unclear grading scale for the formative assessments show a decrease in score for all students. Teachers are deeply concerned as to why students lose points for their right answers.
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ART
Local artist Ray Bow wins second place in a a two-person art competition for his "The Spirit: Free" Play-dohchunk sculpture.
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A modern art showcase is to be held at the community center. Amazing works such as Ray Bow's famous Emotions: Canvases That are Painted a Solid Color series, "A Photoshopped photograph of a can of Rockstar Recovery" by Brandon Conley, and an anonymous artist's set of paper sculptures including "My Life" and "Hey, Look at this Random Scrap of Paper that I Found". These and many more pieces will be on display on Saturday and Sunday from 9:00:00 am to 9:07:57 am. Please come and enjoy the talent of our local artists!
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HEALTH
New study shows that re-posting unrealistic romance stories featuring a person diagnosed with a chronic illness does not actually increase the monetary support for finding the cure or cure the people with that disease or anything else, really. Teenagers on social media express great surprise.
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High levels of medium fructose corn syrup may be in school food. "Is that even a thing?" commented a befuddled principal. A bear shaped cookie is being carefully dissected at the university lab. Reports are scheduled to come out sometime within the next millennium.
POLITICS
Today, in an alternate universe, Wupan launched an attack on Winaught while two of the leaders were away on a diplomatic mission in a territory of Pickeringvania. Pickeringvania, the largest and most powerful (though very sparsely populated) country, intervened before either side suffered any major damages. Earlier this week, Lairvem of Ni attempted to conquer a third of Winaught through a naval battle, now called the Battle of Caboose.
---
Mountain Du: Will Wupan and Dupan finalize their alliance under the name of Mountain Du? The world waits.
********
EDUCATION
Mystery of the missing substitute teacher! One vice principal claims that she was there. Students and another vice principal insist otherwise. Conspiracy theories abound. What really happened?
---
Middle school band and orchestra concerts were so touching and beautiful that even babies were crying by the end.
---
Unclear grading scale for the formative assessments show a decrease in score for all students. Teachers are deeply concerned as to why students lose points for their right answers.
********
ART
Local artist Ray Bow wins second place in a a two-person art competition for his "The Spirit: Free" Play-doh
---
A modern art showcase is to be held at the community center. Amazing works such as Ray Bow's famous Emotions: Canvases That are Painted a Solid Color series, "A Photoshopped photograph of a can of Rockstar Recovery" by Brandon Conley, and an anonymous artist's set of paper sculptures including "My Life" and "Hey, Look at this Random Scrap of Paper that I Found". These and many more pieces will be on display on Saturday and Sunday from 9:00:00 am to 9:07:57 am. Please come and enjoy the talent of our local artists!
********
HEALTH
New study shows that re-posting unrealistic romance stories featuring a person diagnosed with a chronic illness does not actually increase the monetary support for finding the cure or cure the people with that disease or anything else, really. Teenagers on social media express great surprise.
---
High levels of medium fructose corn syrup may be in school food. "Is that even a thing?" commented a befuddled principal. A bear shaped cookie is being carefully dissected at the university lab. Reports are scheduled to come out sometime within the next millennium.
I always love the "olds" more than the "news," but this is an exception!
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