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POLITICS
In an alternate universe, the tiny yet surprisingly successful country of Ni has conquered long time rival country Niz, thus gaining roughly four square feet of land. Lairvem, the leader of Ni, generously allows Arjib, the former leader of Niz, to continue using the land that used to be his. No serious conflicts have arisen, but it is rumored that Winaught, a massive country bordering Ni, is supplying Ni with the latest warfare weaponry, such as paper plates and value napkins.
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EDUCATION
Breaking News: "Religious" school fails at cheating during a robotics competition!
Students were reported to be conspicuously nudging the obstacles with their feet, but still, they were not able to successfully complete the competition. As a science teacher from another school told us, "Pathetic!"
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Enraged students file complaints about the lack of food at a class party
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Local teacher applauded for bringing cupcakes to class
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Do educational puns help children learn better by making classes less "Bohr-ing?"
Ongoing studies are inconclusive.
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SPORTS
Thumb wrestling tournament canceled due to clement weather
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Jump rope competitions are to be held outside the Children's Museum tomorrow at midnight. Please bring your own jump rope(s), beverages, and thesauruses.
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HEALTH
A Sunday School teacher tries implementing doing situps as the new activity after lessons, and the children love it! Many parents, however, are skeptical about having their children exercise.
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MISCELLANEOUS
The reporters for Möbius Strip News are too lazy to write more extensive reports for readers. Instead, they have resorted to mostly using headlines. We wish to tell you that we hope you've had a nice, relaxing week, but even that's a bit too much to type.
POLITICS
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EDUCATION
Breaking News: "Religious" school fails at cheating during a robotics competition!
Students were reported to be conspicuously nudging the obstacles with their feet, but still, they were not able to successfully complete the competition. As a science teacher from another school told us, "Pathetic!"
---
Enraged students file complaints about the lack of food at a class party
---
Local teacher applauded for bringing cupcakes to class
---
Do educational puns help children learn better by making classes less "Bohr-ing?"
Ongoing studies are inconclusive.
********
SPORTS
Thumb wrestling tournament canceled due to clement weather
---
Jump rope competitions are to be held outside the Children's Museum tomorrow at midnight. Please bring your own jump rope(s), beverages, and thesauruses.
********
HEALTH
A Sunday School teacher tries implementing doing situps as the new activity after lessons, and the children love it! Many parents, however, are skeptical about having their children exercise.
********
MISCELLANEOUS
The reporters for Möbius Strip News are too lazy to write more extensive reports for readers. Instead, they have resorted to mostly using headlines. We wish to tell you that we hope you've had a nice, relaxing week, but even that's a bit too much to type.
"Clement weather"?
ReplyDeleteYes. Thumb wrestling tournaments are best held on days with inclement weather, according to the staff organizing the tournament.
DeleteClement weather ruined my board-game tournament on Wednesday, too.
DeleteAh, yes, it really is always the weather's fault.
DeleteBesides being good for tournaments, inclement weather is usually a little more interesting than clement weather, not that the latter is unpleasant to me.