Mobius Strip News: Volume 1, Issue 2 -- Unsuccessful Cheating, Cupcakes, and Laziness

"Your source for somewhat true and completely wonderful local news."

POLITICS

In an alternate universe, the tiny yet surprisingly successful country of Ni has conquered long time rival country Niz, thus gaining roughly four square feet of land. Lairvem, the leader of Ni, generously allows Arjib, the former leader of Niz, to continue using the land that used to be his. No serious conflicts have arisen, but it is rumored that Winaught, a massive country bordering Ni, is supplying Ni with the latest warfare weaponry, such as paper plates and value napkins.

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EDUCATION

Breaking News: "Religious" school fails at cheating during a robotics competition!
Students were reported to be conspicuously nudging the obstacles with their feet, but still, they were not able to successfully complete the competition. As a science teacher from another school told us, "Pathetic!"
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Enraged students file complaints about the lack of food at a class party
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Local teacher applauded for bringing cupcakes to class
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Do educational puns help children learn better by making classes less "Bohr-ing?"
Ongoing studies are inconclusive.

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SPORTS

Thumb wrestling tournament canceled due to clement weather
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Jump rope competitions are to be held outside the Children's Museum tomorrow at midnight. Please bring your own jump rope(s), beverages, and thesauruses.

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HEALTH

A Sunday School teacher tries implementing doing situps as the new activity after lessons, and the children love it! Many parents, however, are skeptical about having their children exercise.
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MISCELLANEOUS

The reporters for Möbius Strip News are too lazy to write more extensive reports for readers. Instead, they have resorted to mostly using headlines. We wish to tell you that we hope you've had a nice, relaxing week, but even that's a bit too much to type.

New Background

The Why Not? team has been dissatisfied with the current blog background. The main reason for this is that hundreds of other blogs probably have the same background.
Because of this, a new, custom blog background is being made. There are several major changes to the blog design that you will probably need to be warned about before you panic, as the blog's former readers had often done in the past when a major layout change was applied..

First of all, the posts' background will be transparent so that the best parts of the background will be visible. However, the text should show up since the background is mostly white and pale-ish colors.
Most of all, don't complain that you don't understand the inside jokes that will be on the background. In fact, just one post about the background is enough talk about it. The background is a very minor thing compared to actual posts.

Three Things I Like that were said by Other People First

C'est la vie.
Meaning: Such is life. (Google Translate claims it means "That is life," and N claims it means "It is life," but I'm sticking with the meaning I know. Sorry, N.)
Why I Like It: As long as I'm alive, this phrase will be applicable. Plus, foreign language phrases generally sound "sophisticated," or at least interesting.

Nuh-uh!
Meaning: No! It's really more like a general negative response.
Why I Like It: It sounds comical, in a good way. If you've ever heard my science teacher saying this, you'd know exactly what I mean.Pronounced with a strong accent on the second syllable, this short exclamation is just great. I don't use it that much because honestly, it sounds better coming from my teacher than me.

“A library is like an island in the middle of a vast sea of ignorance, particularly if the library is very tall and the surrounding area has been flooded.”
Meaning: Oh, come on, just read that. It's very straightforward. No, this is not what that quote means. I'm just telling you to read that quote in order to obtain its meaning.
Why I Like It: Well, first of all, I like libraries. Second of all, I like taking this literally. This quote  involves both of them. What's there not to like? Thank you for that, Lemony Snicket.

Mobius Strip News: Volume 1, Issue 1 -- Macrons, Imagine Learning, and Death of a Snake

"Your source for somewhat true and completely wonderful local news."

AS SPARTAN PROVERBS TELL US...
"It's DYIN'!"
"STAHP itt-uhhh!"
 "To climb stairs, one must climb the stairs."
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HEALTH
New virus? -- Two local, middle-aged women manage not to use the restroom for over eight hours yet report no major discomfort, a symptom of a possible new virus. The new virus seems to be extremely contagious, however only at a close range. A determined team of two scientists are hard at work researching this strange new virus, putting in up to five minutes of diligent work each day.
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 Does writing macrons in Latin cause carpal tunnel syndrome?
Ongoing studies say it's not completely impossible.

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NOW SOME WORDS FROM OUR SPONSOR...

New product of unspecified name has arrived at the school book store! It's advertised to reduce stress and intelligence. Now you'll finally "fit in!" Woo hoo!
(Price will vary depending on the first letter of your last name and whether or not you have ever eaten wood ear mushrooms.)
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 EDUCATION

Middle school students are encouraged to imagine learning through the state's newest ingenious program, fittingly named Imagine Learning. Each school computer comes installed with a copy of Imagine Learning, but few teachers are implementing it.
Regardless, interviews with students reveal that this is a very popular new system. "It's, like, so much better than the old way of, you know, actually learning stuffs!" reported an enthusiastic girl smacking on a piece of Trident Layers gum of undetermined flavor. The teachers are slowly warming up to it though. "I used to think it was a crazy idea, but the students love it and don't ever have pointless questions! Could the state education system actually have thought up something beneficial?" one teacher mumbled as he sipped a mug of clear liquids.
School faculty hopes that Imagine Learning will help students adjust to the Uncommon Bore curriculum as they refine their imagination skills.
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"Advanced" Latin students shocked to discover that fellow classmates are alive and have functioning brains.
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Two printers appear in one classroom: Sorcery?

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OBITUARY

The Why Not? admins mourn the tragic death of an innocent snake.
However, in an interview with several semi-barbaric homosapiens, they were reported to have unreasonably high levels of relief and even happiness over the tragic loss.
Nine square inches of land have been dedicated for a memorial in memory of the snake. (Construction is set to begin within ninety years.)

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OTHER NEWS

Impromptu celebrations abound as the arrival of the newest issue of Imagine magazine is announced.
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This week's word of the weak has been "theme." Any student caught using the word was to be harassed for being weak enough to use "theme."

Möbius Strip News Coming This Week!

Our "news" reports are finally coming! It will be called Möbius Strip News as it will deliver only one side, the interesting side, of all the local happenings. The first issue of the first volume will be published sometime this week!
Each hopefully weekly issue will feature many headlines, summaries of local events, quotes, wisdom, and advertisements unlike any you've seen before.
I'm aiming for Friday night or Saturday morning so be on the lookout for the newest possibly entertaining, possible true source of local news.

News on the News

The fake news series will most likely be on this blog, not on a separate one. (Original post here.) Why? I'm too lazy to keep up with another blog. The name of these posts will be either Möbius Strip News, Möbius News, Mushroom, News: The Place for all of Your Newsynewy by New NewsyNewsman or... Wait, that's all I've got. Comment your suggestions.
Hopefully, there will be "news" posted at least once a week starting from next week.
Hopefully.

"Cuss Words"

I recently saw a comment that censored a "cuss word" using asterisks. Then I saw, in reply to that comment, a comment shaming the person for not being able to use the "cuss word."

It reminded me of NigaHiga's censorship video. (Go watch it if you haven't already. Even if you have, it's probably worth watching again.) What's the whole deal with "cuss words?" They are just sounds with meanings that are not nearly as bad as loathe or genocide, yet we use those freely because we need to use them to describe things. I suppose the main thing about cuss words it that they are considered an offensive way of conveying a message. (Personally, I find Chinese insults and Shakespearean insults much more interesting...) Or maybe it's a result of people's inability to be frank about some subjects, such as human body waste or reproduction.

Personally, I see no wrong in being uncomfortable possibly offending people, and I see no wrong in using the occasional "cuss word." We all will probably use at least one in our life times. However, purposely offending people is never a good thing, and it's important to respect others' opinions on language. There's no need to attack people because of minor vocabulary issues. If the grammar and spelling is correct, I'd be satisfied enough, especially since it's on the Internet.

UPDATE: Vsauce made a video that relates to this! Have a look...

GM's Greatest Accomplishment of This Week

Robot Checks

Last Thursday and Friday, I spent a lot of time trying to get on the Why Not? team's shared Google account.
After trying many possible passwords, Google thought I was a robot and I had to do the robot check things.
  Robot checks anger me. They are supposed to check to see if you are a bot, but the system is flawed since they have gotten to a point where even I can't tell what text is in the picture.
I'm sure I'm not a robot. Maybe I'm a clone, but certainly not a robot.
If you people think that I could read those horrendously blurry pictures, then you are wrong. Typing is slowly replacing writing these days, so I have less experience in decoding messy handwriting than the last generation. However, the robot check pictures just get blurrier and messier.
I know that some blogs (cough, cough, C) have robot checks, but what is the point of them? Wouldn't it be interesting if a robot commented?
Even if it were spam, you could just delete it.

The Mystery of Colds

  As you may not know, I currently have a cold . Because of this, I have been pondering a question that has bothered me for years about the origin of the disease.
  I know that some of you are going to say "Why don't you look it up?" The first reason is that viruses are too small to see with the unaided eye. The second reason for this is that I dislike looking up things unless they are about Pokemon. Researching things is one of the things that drives me crazy for no apparent reason. I prefer to think about things and come up with a plausible answer in my own words, instead of copying the answers of others. Because of this, I do not want you to answer the question for me.  (Next year's resolution: Limit the usage of the word "things")
  Many, if not most, people stubbornly cling to the belief that colds are caused by being cold and/or wet. The minority say it is caused by a number of different reasons, including the increased spread of viruses when people are all huddled at home around a space heater. Despite the wording of the first sentence in this paragraph, I find myself unsure of which side is correct. There seems to be an equal amount of supporting and disproving information for both sides.
  The main bit of information that supports the minority is that you do not get viral infection from being cold. Coldness does not make viruses spawn out of nowhere. Since winter is cold season, and the defining characteristic of winter is cool weather, it must have something to do with that. When it's cold, people are going to sit at home, crowding around their main heat source. At this close proximity, it is only a simple matter for the viruses to go a few feet and find a new person to infect. Sounds reasonable, right?
  And yet, you can't help but feel like colds would be the biggest coincidence ever if that were true. Colds only seem to happen right after you are cold or wet. You didn't put on a jacket this morning/ and or didn't sleep with a blanket last night this? BOOM! A cold! You made the mistake of swimming at this time of year? BOOM! A cold!
  Also, there is the absence of colds in summertime to consider. When it is summer, people are all huddled around their air conditioning and cooling fans (Fan joke). Why aren't we getting sick then? Cold viruses are around all year. We are at the same close proximity to each other at that time of year, too.
  Perhaps the answer is a combination of both. Perhaps neither is right. Maybe one of them is right. I'll just have to sit on the fence for this one.

(Short) Link Day- Veteran's Day

Here are some links for your enjoyment on your day off for Veteran's Day tomorrow.
(Sorry, hypothetical visitors who do not get a break from school or work...)

http://newspaperblackout.com/
Newspaper Blackout- Weirdly intriguing and awesome form of poetry. It's all in the name. Get a newspaper and black out the words you don't need to get a poem. It's almost like a more awesome version of magnetic poetry.


http://www.codecademy.com/
Codeacademy- Learn how to code in Javascript, Python, and more. I don't use this, but GM and Connor (of the blog There's Always a Catch) do. I'm more of a learn-out-of-a-book person. I have no idea how good it is, but if you're interested in coding, take a look!

http://orteil.dashnet.org/experiments/cookie/
Cookie Clicker- Basically, you click a cookie over and over again. It's not as boring as it seems, somehow, and you'll discover just how quickly you can click. Comment and let me know if you get to the Portal or Time Machine levels!